Me, Myself and the Deols

The introduction post for Deol Dhamaka on bollystalgia (blog by Amaluu) says:


"For the entire month of March, we're going to be celebrating our favorite Jats ..." 


Now, I know that I'm probably one of the big exceptions in this Bolly-Blogger-community, but... (dharamdhamdham)... my first thought was: Why not Kapoor Dhamaka? That would be so much easier, I could write about my love-even-in-horrible-movies Kareena, really-good-but-overhyped-yet-I-love Ranbir, I-don't-know-what-to-think-of-you Rishi and so on.
But before I find myself in the graveyard, I'll leave the Kapoor dynasty for once and will concentrate on "our favorite Jats" (?), the Deols. First of all, I have a question to answer: What is dhamaka? After a long journey on the internet... I didn't find out exactly. My guess is, that it means festival or something similar. Good, sorted that out. The Deol Festival. The Festival of Deols.
I thought of things I could write about for participating in Deol Dhamaka, other than just reviews... Introducing my "relationship" is a good way to start, I think. So my idea was to write a fictive letter to each of the Deols listed on Bollystalgia. (And please take a look at those pictures, which I have created so carefully and with true heart blood.)


"Garam Dharam"/ Dharmendra

Dear Dharmendra,

I'm sorry to tell you that I do not own any DVDs with you. I've only seen two of your (wait a minute... imdb is loading) 254 movies (congrats!). Of course, one of them is your most famous movie, the film above them all: Sholay. Though you're not exactly my type, I found you both funny, sympathetic and good as an actor in this movie. The other film that I've seen with you is Yamla Pagla Deewana, another famous film, though not comparable to Sholay. What made me curious enough to watch it, was that a father and his two sons played a father and his two sons. Add some mediocre to positive reviews, and I got snoopy. Though it's not the best movie I've seen or something, it taught me some interesting things. For instance, you look better in it, than in Sholay, and your chemistry with your sons is fascinating. Three Deols charmed me for the durance of an [overlong] motion picture, and that's what I'll remember the film for. Still, there is a "but". Dharmendra, you just don't apply to me personally. I mean, if I'd meet you, if you weren't a movie star, I don't think I'd like you. And I'm sorry for that... I really am, because I'm going to find someone with a gun in his hand next to my bed very soon for saying this.
Maybe we'll meet again on the silver screen - who knows, which films lay ahead of us/ me?

With kind regards,

Mette

Sunny

Dear Sunny,

you can see it on the picture: I am the owner of a Darr copy. What you can't see, is that big shelf of mine filled with Shahrukh Khan DVDs, or the place for him in my heart - him stammering K..K...Kiran doesn't make that place get smaller, perhaps it even grew because of Darr. However, the sad point about all of this is, that I don't really like you... that much. I don't hate you. But your role in Darr...? Come on. It seems like you wanted to play safe, because I bet you were offered the psycho role, but that was not macho enough for you. 

It was that hero role you wanted, and it was what you got. Not more. You got a part of my attention, and you wasted it, you took it and turned it into a ball of paper that you threw into the garbage. Good for you, that I watched Yamla Pagla Deewana. I don't expect you to be familiar with neither my tweets nor my opinion on Dabangg, but here's what I tweeted about YPD: "Paramveer Singh is the next Chulbul Pandey.". To me, Dabangg was an entertaining masala-adventure-trash, nothing to take seriously, but filmic rubbish at it's best quality. YPD wasn't that bad, actually, or you could say: Not that good. It lacked some of the fast pace that the Salman-starrer contained. But your role brought some of that "Fearless"-flair to me, so that I couldn't resist and had to like it somehow. Especially you. I'm happy I found out about your good side, so that we can talk to each other again.

By the way, did you get a face lift? You look much younger in YPD...

Your friend, 

Mette

Bobby

Dear Bobby, I tried to find some decent pictures of you, but they just lacked all resemblance to you - except for the baby pictures. So even though you look like a certain german ex-minister/doctor (especially the hair), it's clearly you. First of all: you got me into trouble - I thought I'd only seen one of your films (YPD, what else), but after browsing through the whole imdb, I finally found something that would protect my good reputation: Om Shanti Om. The best source if you're looking for stars that you want to have seen films with (who doesn't?). You were fantastic in it, absolutely fantastic, how you expressed the feelings of the character, and... well, whatever. Same for YPD: An epic movie that showed all your talents, proving that you have the character trait of them all: masala. You can be funny, lovely (somehow), disgusting (somehow), scary, entertaining and calm. What else can I say about you...? There are films that I absolutely want to watch, for instance: Ajnabee (not because of Kareena), Jhoom Barabar Jhoom (not because of Preity), Nanhe Jaisalmer (... seriously now: because of you... or the story) and Dostana (not because of the hype around it). 

As you see, we have a future together, and... I'm absolutely looking forward to you and your hair (makes me forget all about Aditya Roy Kapoor), and your... dance(?). Yeah.

Your... fan...

Mette

PS: Sorry, didn't find the OSO-DVD, so no picture.

Esha

Dear Esha,

I'm very disappointed by you these days. I haven't seen them, but I've heard about it, and I've read about it: Hijack? Money Hai Toh Honey Hai? Come on. It all started out so well, with you, with us, in Na Tum Jaano Na Hum. I was sure that you were going to be one of the great Heroines. Yuva was the next step on the latter, then came the big fun in Dhoom... After that Kaal - I actually count myself to the people who like the film. Of course, it's not really scary, or clever, or anything, but I find it very entertaining. I've also had great experience watching it with non-BW-fans. With Dus, though, I had problems. It was... actually, I don't even remember what it's about... or which character you played. The latest film I saw, was No Entry. I know, I know, it's about 6 years old now, but I just couldn't bear to see you in those horrible A minus movies (or B movies, even - btw, I like No Entry). Please do some nice films again, because you used to be one of my girls... and you can be again. I know you've got talent... show it to the world.

Your patient friend,

Mette

Abhay

Beloved Abhay,

even though I've only seen two of your films, you're not comparable with Dharmendra, for me. Of course, he's a bigger star, more famous etc. etc. But my true love goes to you, above all other Deols. The other Deols are just actors, I'm not... crazy about them. Whereas you... After seeing Dev. D, I was enchanted by you. Not like, I was wearing pink glasses or something, I just loved the way you perform, and that you're attractive in a non-obvious way (seeing the first stills of Dev. D, I wasn't exactly focusing on your looks or "attractiveness", but I changed my mind after watching it).

You're not too proud of one of your latest projects, Aisha, but as it's clear to see from my review, I did like the film. The more cursory role suits you well, as an alternation from your other roles.

Yes, Abhay, you are one of my up-coming favorite actors (my rules say, that I need to watch at least three movies of an actor/actress, before he is to be considered).

The two movies I watched are a proof to your talent (Aisha as well, as it's different from your other roles), and I hope that you won't disappoint me in the future.

With love,

Mette

I won't write any more comments on this topic, at least not for now, you can let everything "grow" in your head without more information, I think.

--------------------------

And by the way: It does feel different than before, now that I'm Sixteen Years Old.

PPS: No, I didn't spend my birthday with the nonsense of writing a blog post about my relationship to a family of actors. Most of it was written yesterday, I just finished everything off today, and... posted it.
I also hope no one feels insulted in any way, because I didn't mean to abuse any actor or fan. Though most of this is true, it's just for fun. As always: Don't take anything to seriously.

Thank you for reading,
Mette M. K.