Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Confuzzledness as a Side Effect from Intense Movie Watching

It is a mixture of being confused and being puzzled.
It was invented by a film character, a fantasy person that doesn’t exist, a person that was created through words, computers and a voice. 
And when I think about this, I feel confuzzled. When I think about the fact that I’ve seen 40 films last month, I feel confuzzled. And when I try to understand and get hold of all the value in these films, in form of emotions, experiences, wisdom, I feel not confuzzled, but very confuzzled. 

Have you ever been confuzzled because of movies? If you are a movie blogger, I bet you have. Ever since I started this blog in October 2010, my confuzzledness has been growing, as I have been watching more and more movies. I just topped 1,000 ratings on IMDB – a pretty confuzzling experience, I tell you. I feel glad, because I know I’ve seen many movies, and that my knowledge of this art is growing steadily. I have seen many wonderful films, incredible works of art, and I have gained insight in many things. 
On the other hand, I have been entertained. This may sound positive at first, but there is a tiny part of myself that feels bad about this, bad about spending hours being entertained – and that alone, mostly.
Movie watching is an unsocial hobby. You can go to the cinema with your friends and family, but just how often do you actually do that? Personally, I go to the movies about every second week with my mum or friends, but that leaves two weeks in which I watch movies myself mostly. I sometimes sit at a party and think, „I wish I was at home watching a movie“, and then I have a bad conscience. 
But I have been thinking this through. And it’s not like I spend less time with other people due to movie watching, is what I’ve found out. What would I do if I didn’t watch a film almost every night? I’d probably be reading. Because, let’s face it, you don’t really meet your friends at night (except weekends). So I think, I hope, that I won’t feel bad and unsocial anymore – though maybe I exaggerated a little, I don’t feel bad very often actually. It’s just sometimes, you know, in between. 

What furthermore confuzzles me, is the fact that I spend a big part my time writing about movies and then sharing these writings with lots of people I don’t know online. And the fact that people respond, and that I’m happy about every comment. And the fact that I get a little addicted to checking if there are any comments, and checking my blog stats. 
I don’t even know if you’re people or just computers. Maybe you’re stalkers.
But you could think the same thing about me, commenting on your blogs. I’ve read so often that people want to stop the stats-checking and comment-addictedness, so I don’t feel alone. I’m still confuzzled, but I am getting better at seeing this whole project as a way to express my love for the art of film. 
You might think this is easy, but there have been times when I’ve been considering to close this blog, because I don’t see the point. I see that it makes me happy to read comments and discuss films with people, but I don’t see why I write stuff and spend hours on designing a ratings system or polishing the blog design or whatever. I should be thinking about what I want to do with my life, which career path I want to take, find out whether I'm better at acting or writing or calculating.

But as I said: I don’t want to stop. I know the point - there is a point - just sometimes I forget it. And then I see a great movie and I remember.

Confuzzling, isn’t it?


  1. So odd. Blogger failed to show me that you have posted something recently. I thought your last piece was on The Dreamers, but I decided to visit your blog just in case. However, maybe it's not Blogger's fault, but me being inattentive :)

    Very interesting post. I agree that movie watching and especially movie appreciation are unsocial. I enjoy going to the cinema with friends to see big releases and comedies and I like that, but I also love going there on my own. It's just me and a Film. And I'm in the seventh heaven.

    My blog makes me confuzzled too. I resonate with what you've said about yours... Because indeed, sometimes I ask myself what's the point.

    Anyway, you've made very confuzzled now.

    1. Sometimes Blogger is weird... one time it said I don't follow any blogs.

      Sorry if I made you confuzzled ;). But it's cool to hear that I'm not the only one feeling this way and that you liked the post.
      Watching the big releases etc. with friends is great, but it's so different to fully get absorbed in a movie which is only possible when you're alone.

      You have so many more followers than me, so I'm glad that you still have the same doubts as I have. Even though it's a pity in a way... damn, this is so confuzzling!

    2. Believe me, a number of followers means nothing :)
      As for the doubts, I had really strong ones for almost three years, but now I feel that they are fading away step by step after my latest "goodbye" that eventually was sort of cancelled.

      I think I figured why I blog and what I want from my blog. I mean I always knew that I just wanna share my thoughts, but now I have a purely clear vision of my aims here. Maybe, you need to figure out something like that, too.

  2. Perfect post is perfect.

    Despite my recent success, I've just felt so over blogging lately. For one thing, some people in the blogging world have put me off blogging altogether (this would have to do with the backlash from the LAMMYs). Another thing is that I'm so damn busy at the moment. Eh.

    Still, I can't pry myself away from the blog, or all the movies I have to watch. Eh.

    Very confuzzling indeed.

    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
      I myself felt that this post is pretty perfect, or my proudest piece ever, but it's so great to hear from somebody else!

      It's sad that people put you off just because of some award. As I read from a brilliant blogger recently, it's much cooler to be nominated for an award because you've been chosen out of thousands, in contrary to winning - because then you've been chosen out of a handful.
      I'm afraid that I'll be very busy after the summer holidays too, that's what people say about 12th grade...

      But movies will always be there, I think it's too late to stop now.

  3. You're totally right! Blogging seems stupid at times, but how can it be? If it makes you happy, it ought to be a good thing, right? Plus, it enhances your writing and english. And imagination! And culture too. It's sharing something you love. Though loving movies sounds pretty stupid at times too. I don't know.

    But I'm glad you see the point of this, and great movies will always be a thrilling thing to behold. It's art, we can't put our finger on it, but somehow it's beautiful. Really good post.

    1. "loving movies sounds pretty stupid at times" - totally! I don't often tell people that I blog, because I kind of feel ashamed. I shouldn't be, should I?

      About your other point - it doesn't always make me happy to blog. But reading the comments always makes it worth it.

      Thank you, Maria.

  4. Great article! I really enjoy your posts and you are very right about being happy with the comments, sometimes the writing is more fun when you know people read the things you create. I love blogosphere - it's so full of recommendations and beautiful writing. Sometimes it seems pointless when real life gets in the way, but hey, as far as hobbies go at least blogging means you get to express your thoughts and be creative.

    1. Thank you, Sati!

      Well, at least blogging is more meaningful than playing stupid computer games or just watching reality TV. It broadens your horizon and you learn about much more than just films... political conflicts, music, literature, there are a lot of things I've grown even more interested in after starting this blog.

  5. Oof, I feel ya. It's especially hard to put aside time for writing when you think no one is going to read/care. But at the same time, I find myself writing about movies to connect with others that might feel the same way about them, or who might offer insight to something that I didn't see there before. It's not just about networking but connecting with people and getting your opinions into the open where they can be fine-tuned by others' commentary and opinions.

    Also, yes, movie-watching can be a bit anti-social, but so are any number of other things which have nothing to do with art. Like playing Frogger for five hours (do people still play that? I've been watching too many movies to play video games...).

    1. Good point, although there are those LAN-parties where people play video games together.
      I also like what you say about fine-tuning your opinions - it makes you less ignorant and stubborn I think. If you care about your readers opinions, that is.
      Thanks for commenting, Annie.

  6. I scarcely say I have a blog, it sounds so silly. I guess it's because of that stupid notion that a blog is where lonely people write about their daily life. But no, none of us should be ashamed - we should be proud! And like you said when answering Sati., it does wonders for our minds!

    Plus, if we're serious about blogging, make a commitment and work hard on it, with a purpose, then good things will come from it. I have no doubt in my mind that those of us who are serious about this will find a way to make something out of it -- professionally even. It's a asset. But only if you conceive it that way!

    1. Yes, maybe in a few years it will be easier to work at blogging professionally. Personally, working on this blog has assured me that I would like to start a career in journalism after graduating from high school. Either that or something acting.
      Blogging has so many benefits.

  7. I know what you mean. Being confuzzled sometimes happens to me. If you're feeling confuzzled, it seems that you need to do something off from blogging/watching movies. It's quite a challenge when you have a blog and follower, but I think you'll write the best when you're happiest (and your follower will also love your writing).

    I have some links that might be working for you : http://www.inspired-ground.com/food-for-thought-for-bloggers/

    Hope it helps!

    1. I used to draw and read a lot more before I got into movies, so I sometimes have to remember that I need to think of something else than movies for a while. But I'm getting better at it, especially right now I'm listening to a lot of music and reading books... it's important not to watch movies just because you kinda "have to", but because you want to, because you love it.
      Thanks Andina. I'm off to read your post.

  8. I think that confuzzled feeling (great word by the way) is something all of us bloggers get. I love film, but sometimes I wonder if I should be spending my time doing something more productive. In the end I think blogging is a great outlet, because while there is something anti-social about sitting alone in a dark room for hours on end, all the comments and discussions with strangers from around the world, helps to make up for that.

    1. This need to be productive is one of the stupidest things in the world. There is no reason why your hobby needs to be productive - which by the way blogging is. Each post is a product, and it gets out to people and causes a reaction.
      I like the thought that commenting and discussing with strangers makes up for the anti-socialness of movie watching :)

    2. If you look at it, being confuzzled means at least you are questioning yourself and the world around you, which I think is healthy, and what makes us human. Those who don't think anymore are dead inside, and maybe have given up on themselves. Cogito ergo sum ( :

      I think the drawback of watching in order to blog, is the feeling of 'I have to finish the movie' to review it. Whereas a couple of years ago if I was bored I switched off after 30 minutes. I guess I'm more 'serious' about watching than in the past...
      I worry my blog wouldn't be taken seriously if my monthly post had 50% 'did not finish' movies. Even so I'm considering going back to my old ways, as I don't want to waste my time watching movies that I'm not passionate about

    3. True, confuzzledness is essential for us to stay alive.
      I think it's wonderful to watch a movie to the end because you can really be 100% sure that you didn't like in the end, if you didn't. But sometimes I want to shut the movie off after 30 minutes too. However, since I've started blogging, the quality of the movies I'm watching has been improving a lot - so I watch more movies I enjoy than ones I don't enjoy.
      Thanks for your comment, Chris.

  9. It's interesting because no one brings up the social aspects of blogging anymore, and that, if you spend a lot of time blogging and writing for your blog, it is of course going to eat away at what you do 'irl'.

    I've never had this experience with my blog yet, more so because there always seems to be something going on in the outside world for me, so the Internet doesn't swap over what's going on in my non-online life.

    The interesting thing about the whole anti-social sides of film is that, I think in a way, you can appreciate more films, especially those that are close to real life, if you do go out there and do non-film related things, I've found that this definitely helps with my film watching.

    It is important to have a balance I think, because someone can't be watching films ALL the time, even if they are a paid film critic, they do have a life outside of it because, for me anyway, so many films can be too much, I need time to digest really good films (with B movies, I can watch them constantly, all in a row because it doesn't require any emotional attachment or thought).

    Personally, I think it just boils down to the old cliché saying of doing what you love, and usually what you love makes you happy, and that should be more than enough to rather be watching a film than being at a party.

    Love reading posts like this though, and you raise some great points I haven't heard others speaking about!

    1. Thank you, Cherokee!

      Definitely, doing things that don't have to do with movies can make you appreciate them even more. I just had a very fitting experience after writing this post (I wrote it a few weeks ago), when I attended a huge music festival for a week and had a lot of fun, and afterwards when I came home, I just watched a bunch of movies and had a great time as well.

      But even though you do spend time with your friends and watch movies as well, it sometimes seems there aren't enough hours in the day.

      Anyhow, I have been thinking this whole "problem" through this summer and I think I've found some peace with it - also thanks to the wonderful comments I have received for this post. I know why I blog, and I think it will never take over. If you know what I mean.
      I'm just... happy and peaceful right now :)

  10. I did not see this post either. Confuzzling Blogger -.-

    Blogging seems super pointless at times, but through most of last year I was doing something I hated, and blogging and just reading people talk about films and then watching those films are the only things that kept me onboard. It was something to do, something for *me* to do, and I could do it however I wanted. That control, over however little a thing like a blog, can be really helpful at times.

    That's why I do it really. However it is, it is mine. And I learn a lot.

    1. Another good point - having something that truly belongs to you, that does something for you and that you are in control of. It's the complete opposite of school, where you have to do what the teacher wants you to do and the way he wants you to do it. Probably the same with work.
      Here we can write and share anything we like.


Let the discussion begin!